On your first birthday

Dear Remi,

Today is your first birthday. I have so many thoughts swirling in my head and heart and I just wanted to take some time to write them out.

I was actually scared when I first found out you were a girl. For the first hour or so afterward, I just kept thinking "How am I going to do this?" I wasn't upset, just kind of in shock because having a daughter was going to be so different from having a son. Then I thought about all the things we could do together that mothers and sons can't really do and I started to get really excited.

Your personality started to emerge around six months or so and I know you are going to keep us on our toes! You are constantly exploring (crawling off at a high speed down the hallway), discovering (putting rocks in your mouth), and voicing your opinion (shrieking loudly). I am convinced you've had the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) since you were born because you are not a great napper. You are a great night sleeper, so I guess I should be thankful for that.

You aren't really into books, but love ones that have flaps or different textures. You LOVE music and dancing and as soon as a song comes on, you are swaying back and forth. You are fascinated with Finley and Pumpkin and squeal with delight when Pumpkin is in the same room as you. You have a small yellow blanket (aka burpcloth) that you sleep with every night. You are a mover and shaker and have been since day one. You just want to move! You aren't easily amused and it takes A LOT to make you laugh. Seriously, I think you've spontaneously laughed about five times in your life (not counting tickling, that always gets you!). The other day Jameson was doing a silly song and dance routine, and you just burst out laughing! So, of course, he did it for about 10 more minutes until you got bored with it and turned away. 

You are beyond gorgeous. I look at you sometimes and can't believe you are part of me. You will always be beautiful to me, but I want you see past that. And I know everyone says that, but I will never focus on your looks because even if you're beautiful, if you're not kind to people, it won't matter. If you are beautiful, kind, and a hard worker, Remi, you will be unstoppable.

Every night I tell you that I am here for you, no matter what. I tell you to be kind and work hard. I tell you that people (aka boys) that love you will respect you and if they don't, you need to leave immediately. There are no second chances in that area. I just want to engrain these into your mind so that someday when someone breaks your heart, you will know who you can turn to.

This year is going to go by even faster than the first and I am so looking forward to this year. I hope to see you start talking, walking, running, playing with Jameson, exploring our new neighborhood, laughing, climbing, making new friends, and just interacting in life with us. I can't even imagine life without you Remi girl. Your smile lights up a room and I just can't wait to continue doing life with you.

I love you, sweet girl,
Mom